You think your morning routine is intense? Imagine starting your day with a nice, refreshing swig of… pee. 🤢
Welcome to ancient Rome, where human urine wasn't just waste—it was a valuable, multi-purpose commodity. We're talking laundry detergent, leather softener, and yes, even mouthwash. 🦷✨
Let's dive into the wild and gag-worthy world of Roman hygiene. It's about to get weird. 👇
The Romans were obsessed with white teeth, and they discovered that urine was a surprisingly effective whitener. The secret ingredient? Ammonia.
When you let pee sit for a while, the urea in it decays and turns into ammonia, a powerful cleaning agent. The ammonia would lift stains and disinfect their mouths. The Roman poet Catullus even wrote a diss track about a guy named Egnatius who had suspiciously white teeth, saying it just proved he was "more full of piss." 😂
This wasn't just some back-alley remedy, either. It was so popular that jars of aged Portuguese urine—considered the Dom Pérignon of pee—were imported to Rome and sold as a luxury mouthwash. 🍾
How did Romans get their togas so bright? You guessed it: more pee.
Public laundries, called fullonicas, were basically pee-powered washing machines. Large vats were filled with urine collected from public toilets. Workers would throw in the dirty clothes, and then stomp on them with their bare feet to agitate out the dirt and grime. The ammonia in the urine was a fantastic degreaser and stain remover. 🤢
So next time you complain about doing laundry, just be grateful you're not stomping around in a giant tub of other people's pee. 🙏
With urine being so useful for everything from tanning leather to dyeing textiles, it became a hot commodity. And where there's a commodity, there's a government looking to tax it. 🤑
Emperor Vespasian (who ruled from 69-79 CE) implemented the first urine tax, or vectigal urinae. He placed a tax on the collection and sale of urine from Rome's public toilets. The pee was collected from urinals on the street and sold to laundries and tanneries.
His own son, Titus, thought the tax was disgusting. In response, Vespasian held a gold coin under his son's nose and famously declared, "Pecunia non olet"—"Money does not stink." And he was right. The tax helped refill Rome's treasury after years of civil war. It was a golden shower of revenue! 💸
So, while the Romans gave us aqueducts, roads, and laws, they also gave us a masterclass in resourcefulness. They saw a valuable chemical compound where we see… well, pee. It's a testament to their ingenuity and a reminder that sometimes, the most useful things can be found in the most unexpected (and disgusting) places.
Next time you use mouthwash, just be thankful it's mint-flavored. 😉
1. Smithsonian Magazine - "From Gunpowder to Teeth Whitener: The Science Behind Historic Uses of Urine"
A deep dive into the many, many uses of urine throughout history, from cleaning to making things go boom.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/from-gunpowder-to-teeth-whitener-the-science-behind-historic-uses-of-urine-442390/
2. Ancient Origins - "Money Does Not Stink: The Urine Tax of Ancient Rome"
The full story behind Emperor Vespasian's infamous urine tax and the phrase it inspired.
https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/money-does-not-stink-urine-tax-ancient-rome-003408
3. National Geographic - "Urine Trouble: Taxes in Ancient Rome"
A quick and fun look at how and why the Romans taxed pee.
https://blog.education.nationalgeographic.org/2016/04/15/urine-trouble-taxes-in-ancient-rome/
