You’ve got a killer stomach ache. You go to the doctor, and they hand you... a tiny, fluffy dog? Yes, really. In medieval Europe, one of the go-to cures for a bad tummy was literally just lying down with a small dog on your belly. 🤯
It sounds wild, but it was based on the medical theories of the time. Doctors followed the ancient ideas of humoral theory, which was all about balancing four key things in your body: blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile. Everything, including animals, was believed to have a dominant humor.
Dogs were considered “choleric,” meaning they were naturally hot and dry. So, if you had a stomach ache (often seen as a “cold” or “moist” problem), the dog’s natural body heat was thought to literally warm up your insides and restore balance. It was basically the ancient version of a living, breathing heating pad. 🔥
This wasn’t just some folk remedy; it was a legitimate medical practice that dated all the way back to ancient Rome. The Roman writer Pliny the Elder wrote about using small dogs, which he called “Melitæi” (likely the ancestors of modern Maltese dogs), to soothe stomach pains. He claimed the dog would absorb the illness from the person.
The belief was that the sickness would literally transfer from the human to the animal. Tragically, sources say the poor dog would often get sick and die after the “treatment.” 💔 It was a one-way ticket to the great beyond for these little canine healers.
Just using a live dog as a heating pad was the *tame* version. Some early modern physicians took it to a whole new level. For serious ailments like tumors or venomous bites, doctors like the famous 16th-century surgeon Ambroise Paré had recipes that were... stomach-churning. 🤢
One of his balms for gunshot wounds involved boiling two live puppies in oil with earthworms and other ingredients. Other doctors recommended splitting puppies or kittens open while still alive and applying them warm to the affected area. I know, right? It’s insane. They believed this was the ultimate way to draw out poison and disease.
So, what does this all mean? It shows how much our understanding of medicine has changed. What was once a doctor-prescribed treatment now seems both bizarre and cruel. It’s a powerful reminder that science is always evolving, and what we think is normal today might be someone else’s “weird history” tomorrow.
Next time you cuddle up with your dog, just be glad you’re doing it for fun, not because a doctor told you to. 😉
Animals: Their use and Meaning in Medieval Medicine - NCBI Bookshelf
‘Happiness is a Warm Puppy’: Early Modern Medicinal Use of Dogs - Modern Farmer
