Okay, you will not BELIEVE this. There was literally a Roman Emperor who got so mad, he declared war on the actual ocean. Yes, really. The guy’s name was Caligula, and his story is one of the wildest in all of history. 🤯
So, Caligula was emperor for just four years (from 37 to 41 AD), but he made a serious name for himself. At first, everyone loved him! But then he got super sick, and when he recovered, something... snapped. He started calling himself a living god and doing the most unhinged things imaginable.
We’re talking about a guy who allegedly wanted to make his horse a government official. So declaring war on the sea? Honestly, it was pretty on-brand for him.
Here’s how it went down. In 40 AD, Caligula marched his entire army to the northern coast of France, supposedly to invade Britain. But his troops were NOT having it and basically refused to go. Instead of admitting defeat, Caligula came up with a new plan.
He ordered his soldiers to line up in full battle formation facing the English Channel. Trumpets blared. Tension mounted. Their enemy? The sea god Neptune. 넵튠. He commanded his men to “attack the water,” stabbing their swords into the waves. I know, right?!
After his “battle,” Caligula declared a glorious victory over the ocean. 🏆 And every victory needs spoils of war, right? So he made his legionaries get on their hands and knees and collect seashells from the beach.
These shells were packed up and sent back to Rome as treasure from his great conquest. He even gave his soldiers military honors for their bravery in... picking up shells. Can you even imagine the group chat that night?
So was he just completely insane? Maybe. But some historians have a different theory. The whole thing might have been a massive power move to humiliate his mutinous soldiers. By forcing them to do something so ridiculous, he was showing them that his power was absolute and they had to obey any command, no matter how absurd.
Another wild theory? It could all be a mistranslation! The Latin word for “shells” (_conchae_) was also slang for small boats. So maybe he was just collecting captured enemy boats? We’ll probably never know for sure, which makes the story even juicier.
Caligula’s reign didn’t last long. He was assassinated by his own guards a year later. But his legacy as the emperor who fought the sea lives on. It’s a crazy reminder that sometimes, the truth of history is way stranger than fiction.
Suetonius, "The Lives of the Twelve Caesars"
Cassius Dio, "Roman History"
History Skills, "When mad emperor Caligula declared war on the sea"
