You heard that right. The internet says the Romans had a god of flatulence named Crepitus, and that people—even orators before big speeches—would pray to him for a smooth delivery. It sounds absolutely wild, but is it true? Let's get into it.
First, you gotta understand that ancient Romans had a god for almost everything. Seriously. They had Stercutius, the god of manure (so important for fertilizing fields!), and Cloacina, the goddess of the sewers. So a god of farts doesn't sound *that* crazy in context. It almost makes sense, right?
The idea of a nervous speaker giving a little prayer to Crepitus to avoid an embarrassing moment on stage is hilarious and, honestly, pretty relatable. But the real story is even more bizarre.
Okay, so here’s the twist: Crepitus was probably not a real Roman god. 🤯 I know, I’m as disappointed as you are. The truth is, the idea of Crepitus was likely invented by early Christians as a way to make fun of the Romans and their seemingly endless list of deities.
The first mentions we have of a "god of intestinal noise" come from Christian writers who were satirizing Roman beliefs. They basically said, "Look at these pagans, they probably even have a god for farting!" The name itself, "Crepitus," is just the Latin word for a rattling or creaking noise—not specifically for farts!
So, no one was actually building temples to Crepitus. But that doesn't mean the Romans didn't think about farts. The historian Suetonius tells a wild story about Emperor Claudius. Apparently, Claudius heard about a man who almost died from holding in his gas at a dinner party. He was so concerned that he considered passing an edict to make it legal to fart at the dinner table. Yes, really.
While the law probably never happened, it shows that even the emperor was thinking about the social pressures of passing gas. It was a real issue!
So, the god of farts was a joke that got turned into a legend. It’s a hilarious piece of historical gossip that tells us more about the beef between early Christians and Romans than it does about actual Roman worship. While you couldn't pray to Crepitus, you can thank Emperor Claudius for at least *thinking* about your digestive comfort. 💨
Crepitus (mythology) - Wikipedia
Roman Emperor Claudius and his “Edict” About Public Flatulence - The Vintage News
